he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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