I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
