Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
