That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
