I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
