can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
