Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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