I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
