is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
