I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
