Where did you get a picture of my penis
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
me + whiskey = a bad person
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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