the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
