and you said cock pushups were impossible
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
