We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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