If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Your penis caused this!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
