THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
