four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
