yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
