Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize