Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Operation Purity has been aborted
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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