Cold hands, warm shart.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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