ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
