Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
