just survived the first fart of the relationship.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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