We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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