I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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