I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My balls are so social today.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hippo gnu deer
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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