His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
