was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
