Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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