Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
