As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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