I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
