How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
