Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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