the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
