i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
