I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
