Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
