She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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