i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
