So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
