How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I need a beard to bite.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
