there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
they're like a gay fantastic four
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
