I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
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