Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
