Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
