Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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