So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
