the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
