apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I want her autograph on my taint
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
