i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize