I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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