So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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