I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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