I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
