you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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