How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Someone shattered a urinal.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
