Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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